|Courageous Success IncWe are now fully operational in the United States. Beth Matthews, previously in the UK and now Vice President of Courageous Success Inc – our US operation – is leading the way from our centrally located headquarters in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Despite the severe cold and snow in her new home (wind chill of -45!), she is excitedly working with our new American customers. To hear more about our innovative approach to people and leadership development contact Beth directly on tel: 612 4240935 or email email@example.com.|
The Courageous Success Energiser – A Guide to Management Success.
Controversial we know, but one of the most common reasons that people leave their jobs for other prospects is working for an idiot! We also know from our experience that a good 50% of people feel that they work for one and spend at least 50% of their performance time with us working out what to do about it.
Are you working for an idiot?
Do you fear that you are an idiot boss?
Want to do something about it? Here are our top tips:
How to COPE with an idiot boss:
1. We all decide who is an idiot. It is easy to class the boss as one automatically – after all, some appear to do less than us, earn more and, in our eyes, not live up to our expectations. Yet once you look at the world through their eyes you may see someone who is doing their best:
Our number one tip: Check your perspective: are you making them an idiot in your eyes when they are really not?
2. Most bosses classed in this wonderful way are awarded the honour because of their poor management behaviour. Those who have worked with us know that people trigger each other into a negative cycle and it takes the stronger one to reverse it. So, determine which trigger your boss is hitting in you and consciously take back control of your behaviour – so that you stop triggering them, triggering you and also:
Stop giving your power away!
3. Most people behave badly for the same reasons: stress, self-consciousness, and as you all should know now – their fundamental self-doubt – insecurity. To reverse the most powerful of these take the bat (not stick) and begin to boost their positive belief system: Tell them when they do a good job. Complement them for even the tiniest bit of goodness that you see them doing. Listen to them and give them some slack. Smile and be you when you are with them: it’s a lonely place at the top and we all crave normality.
4. Finally be honest with yourself and ask this question: are they an idiot in your eyes because you are in theirs? Are you causing them frustration? If in their eyes you are under-delivering it may not be due to skills or deadlines, it could be a values clash. Find out.
Be brave, share your values with them and ask to see their values, if they have them. If they don’t – get them on a programme!
How NOT to be an idiot boss.
1. OK so you may be seen as an idiot but not know it, so first sense check it.
Consciously increase your awareness of how you are seen – notice people’s reactions to you – are they normal and open or defensive – if not in words in their demeanour.
Are they relaxed and being themselves? If not you have work to do!
2. Bosses are not idiots they are all lovely people (it’s true, we work with them!). The problem is that you may not be being yourself.
Use your foundation values and manage your triggers so that you don’t fall into the trap of bad behaviour.
3. Check your own behaviour:
Calm defensiveness in others by listening at level 2 and check that your head is not full of your own agenda.
Ban the word why. Whilst you are at it stop folding your arms, sit up and smile.
Even when there are challenges a positive attitude will always bring more solutions around the table.
4. Most people who idolise their boss do so because they enjoy working with them, like them as a person and find them inspiring, they want to spend time with them. We are all great to be with and inspiring when we relax and let our guard down. Challenge yourself to admit which strategies you use – ego, control, sarcasm, arrogance, drama queen, micromanagement (think about how you love it when it happens to you!)
If you are frustrated with others ask them how they think it’s going – rather than giving them your wise feedback – most people know where they could improve. Encourage and coach your team members to bring more of themselves to their roles. You’ll be adored!!
The Courageous Success Energiser
In psychology today in 2012 Andrew Newburg shared the following fascinating finding;
Studies have found that the more we dwell on negative words the more we can actually damage key structures that regulate our memory, feelings and emotions.
Note to self, as I focus on myself negatively and give my power away to others and my environment I am actually being abnormal!!
Neuroimage (2002) found that as we vocalise our negativity, or even as we frown to say “NO”, stress chemicals are also released in the listener’s brain. Negativity spoken with anger does even more damage, sending alarm signals through the brain, interfering with decision making centres in the frontal lobe, increasing a person’s propensity to act irrationally.
Note to self, as I speak or act negatively I can promote irrationality in others – making them abnormal too!!
So – not only can my voicing negativity affect me – it also affects others.
Note to self, as I go about my daily life I will harness the brain power of choosing positivity: from now on I will choose chocolate, say yes, be positive: brain power!
Easy decision – massive impact.
Let us know how you get on at firstname.lastname@example.org