If you have been forced to absorb significant changes in your work you have increased levels of resilience. In fact, the more changes you have had to absorb, the more resilient you are..
ADP Research Institute
It is rare that I come across people that like conflict at work. Most people prefer a harmonious atmosphere. I’ve blogged before about how a need for harmony reduces innovation and agility. The question is, when you do want to avoid conflict, why do you want to avoid it?
For many of us the answer is our confidence. We rely on a happy and open environment and positive feedback to know that we are good enough at work. But for others they just don’t like difficult conversations and atmospheres, you know, rough edges in relationships. In my experience when people avoid conflict there is a top up of self-doubt. You are essentially telling yourself that you can’t cope with it.
As a leader if you avoid the more challenging conversations because you think you should be kinder, more coaching like and understanding, then my challenge is;
a). Are you being true to yourself and what is right? And b). Are you removing the opportunity to develop resilience and strength in others?
In the ADP Research study quoted above they found that the more tangible the threat, the more resilient we become. In the 2020 survey they asked 25,000 people if they had experienced any changes in their working conditions as a result of Coronavirus, E.g. change in working hours, redundancy, furloughs etc. They gave people a list of 11 possible changes.
96% of the group reported that they’d experienced at least one of these changes. Some people had experienced more than five of them and the study found that those that did were 13 times more likely to be highly resilient generally. Experiencing challenge increases your resilience.
The ADP have also found that those who love what they do are 3.9 times more like to be highly resilient as people – I’ll leave that one for another week…
We all need to be more resilient generally, working in this space for so many years I would go so far as to share that you can never be resilient enough. Why? The strength brings freedom. You need the confirmation of others less. You are less inclined to waste time worrying, overthinking etc. You are less stressed and therefore less volatile. You then get more done, are happier and more likely to be kind and provide opportunity for others. Don’t get me wrong, resilience when used in combination with a lack of self awareness can cause people to under anticipate the needs of others, it can cause too much autonomy and the feeling that we can’t ask for help.
But in these often challenging times, rather than fret, we could be topping up our self-belief.
- Challenge can force us to have conviction and make decisions that we would otherwise avoid or put off.
- Difficulty forces us to learn and seek what we don’t know, so we grow.
- Tricky conversations unlock a vulnerability within us which puts us in touch with who we really are vs. our day to day work habits and personas.
- Blockages can unleash bravery and courage.
- When we struggle, we have to self sooth and care for ourselves in a way we often avoid.
In Monday the 5th October’s free iAM webcast we will look at how to use you to face into challenge and conflict with courage and confidence, all whist being you and bringing others with you. Email firstname.lastname@example.org to get receive the recording. You’ll need your iAM. If you don’t have one you can get one through the website – www.courageoussuccess.com.