Only 25% of us know who the real us is. 95% of people say that they are a different person at home to at work.
(Courageous Success #beyourselfatwork Global Survey)
In one recent online share Alain de Botton and James Corden discussed. “Your biography isn’t who you are…neither is what you do”. Sharing that people just want to be themselves. YES! We do. Things feel right when we are us. We can think. We are in balance. We bring out the best of others with our authenticity. But the need to impress often can really get in our way!
We use strategies, either to look and sound competent, be likeable or help us to cope. Some of these are based upon who we are but often they are made up or borrowed. Even subconsciously as we conform, compare, watch others and create reactions that we feel will make us better in the eyes of others, especially at work.
- Turn up the logic, the formality, or the business intelligence dial.
- Ask questions to put the emphases on others and give you an air of authority.
- Get smiley and loud in a crowd, when the real you is much more reflective.
- Tell yourself to be better organised and spend time trying with angst to get in control when naturally you excel as a spontaneous risk taker.
With the pressure of Coronavirus, we are all going to need more powerful strategies that support our energy and that of others. Rather than create tension, walls, inconsistency, and silos (sorry!).
You are standing in your own answer for a more resilient, powerful inspiring future. Are you ready to ditch your competence strategies and look to yourself for support and success?
Years ago, I sat in the reception of a customer and wrote this;
It now hangs on the wall behind me as I sit with my laptop at home helping the world to be themselves at work. What if along with the facemasks and hand sanitiser you protected yourself and fuel your health, success and vitality with a great big dose of being you? The best of you. Not your insecurities, fears, coping strategies. Some sanitising support;
- Notice the moments that you feel that you need to look, sound or appear generally more impressive. In that moment what do you do to make a difference?
- What is the trigger that creates the shift in you? Is it self doubt or a perception that you should be a certain way? Perhaps its your iAM first wave triggers. The important thing is to notice. Are you being conscious of the cause of your actions and reactions?
- Are you feeling judged, so that you feel that you have something to prove? Picture this – perhaps the person or people that you feel are or may be judging you are actually using a coping or competence strategy themselves and you are reacting to it. Have compassion. See through people’s behaviour rather than making it about you and taking it at face value.
- Challenge your perceptions of workplace behaviour. Make a list of what you perceive professional and successful people to be like. Anything on the list you are trying to be and fear you are not?
The world, your world, you, have the power to uniquely contribute. But only by showing people the real you, being who you really are, will others see your strengths and potential?