75% say their inner voice is very critical.

(Courageous Success Research 2020)

This week I was asked the question, “What do you wish everyone knew about your industry?”  I wrote it down.  What a fascinating question!  My immediate thought was, “What do I wish everyone knew about everyone else?”!



Inspired, this question has stayed with me.  It has always struck me how much people think that it is only them that doubt themselves, just them that feel that they might get found out.  And so I thought that for this week’s blog it might be helpful to open the can of worms.  Sharing some of the common challenges that people face in themselves may help us to see that it’s not just us.  So here are a selection of bare facts;

  • Everyone is making it up as they go along.
  • People occasionally feel deeply unhappy for no apparent reason.
  • People feel judged at work and so push or pull back to show their competence.
  • We are our own worst enemies, quick to criticise ourselves.
  • We habitually avoid making the emotional and mental effort to control our own energy.
  • We get frustrated when others don’t do what we want forgetting that they are different to us and blaming them for it.
  • We are all normally in the right jobs we are just looking at it in the wrong way.
  • We all want to belong to something and look to others to feel valued.
  • We all want to make a difference.
  • We control as we are really out of control.
  • We use recognition and autonomy as signs that we are trusted at work, sometimes ransoming efforts.
  • We have a weak relationship with ourselves and distract ourselves from facing and engaging within.
  • People worry what other people think of them.
  • We are generally not as confident as people think we are.
  • We use a lack of confidence as an excuse to not make a greater difference.

Ouch!  Wow that feels incredibly negative doesn’t it!

I always share that the process of reversing this is one of the easiest things that we will ever do – people never believe me.  But once they live the how, they always agree.  Are you intrigued by the how or after a reminder?

  1. Replace your work persona and habits with the real you when you are at your best.
  2. See the real person in people rather than their alternating behaviours and reactions.
  3. Choose to be positive and believe in yourself.
  4. Look to yourself to feel good enough.
  5. Build a strong and healthy inner voice.
  6. Give other people a chance, remember that they are challenged by the same things.
  7. Don’t blame others, circumstances or yourself for any unhappiness or frustration, move forward and make the biggest difference that you possibly can.

Earlier this year LinkedIn published their top list of skills most in demand from employers across over 600 million professionals and 20 million jobs (https://www.linkedin.com/business/learning/blog/learning-and-development/most-in-demand-skills-2020).  Here are their findings on the top 5 “soft skills” and how my notes above may challenge our ability to nail them;

  • Creativity – a need to be right and prove our competence could restrict multiple ideas from forming.
  • Persuasion – people buy people. How can they buy you if you are not really being you?
  • Collaboration – real inclusion means recognising that others are different and embracing that vs. wondering what they are thinking of us.
  • Adaptability – our number one strategy is control, how many of us consciously throw a tactical control for more adaptability into the mix?
  • Emotional Intelligence – if you are so focused on yourself and have a low relationship with yourself you may struggle to pick up the signals.

Be you.